Two days ago, I made an app called “The Game of Thrones Random DJ Name Generator App”. The title basically explains it, and I posted a pic of it on my Instagram. I was really proud to have learned juuuust enough Objective-C to already have a working app. Understanding that MVC (model view controller) model has been super helpful. It’s everywhere!
I wanted to just throw my app online, but I couldn’t find a way to do that. Yeah, I guess I could have just uploaded the whole project to github, but then only the nerdiest of my followers would be able to figure out how to use it. No, I needed a better way. After asking around, I found out the only real way to do it is put it on the Apple app store.
I was like “Ok FINE, I’ll pay the $100 to get the Apple Developer license to do it.” I plopped down the money and went to find the upload button. Waaaaait, there’s no “upload” button. Oh I have to get this certificate? Ok fine. 30 minutes later, I’m all “OK LETS DO THIS!” Waaaait…I have to archive my project and have it validated? Alright… so let’s just do that then. NOPE. ERRORS EVERYWHERE. First, I had to make about 9 different sized app icons. None of them were ever the right size, and they were being denied left and right.
When I finally got the go ahead on the app icons, apple was like “Nope you need screenshots”. So I had to go and make 5 different screenshots of my app for different sized iphones. Might I remind you that my app is DUMB. Like, really dumb. If I had known how much work it would be to submit it to the app store, there’s NO WAY I would have done it. Which makes the whole thing even better. Ignorance was definitely on my side, this time.
After about 5 hours, and a few computer-out-window moments, it was finally submitted. Whew! Then I found out it takes 1-2 weeks to get accepted. Accepted?! You mean a human being is now going to look at my app and decide whether it makes it or not? Well, it was fun while it lasted. I feel like there is a 5% chance of my app getting accepted, but even if it get’s rejected, which it will, it’s still a start. And now I view that $100 deposit as a personal challenge. I WILL break even on my Apple developer fee this year. That’s a promise! Worse case scenario I’m out $100. Best case scenario is I’m a mother f-ing billionaire! I’ll take my chances, world.